


Salt and Air

by thepointsdonotmatter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 23:23:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepointsdonotmatter/pseuds/thepointsdonotmatter
Summary: Post ACWNR. How they find each other.





	Salt and Air

It was a week after the expedition when Levi broke down again. 

He had barely slept since the expedition. He would nod off for an hour or two, only to wake abruptly, a scream buried in his chest. His hands were ready to reach out – to kill, to claw back a life that was ripped from him by the Titans. 

The sun was starting to dip below the horizon and Erwin had called him to his office. Levi was a little surprised to see how sparsely furnished his office was; it was as though it could’ve belonged to anyone else. The faint sounds of soldiers training drifted in from the ajar window. It was a muggy, summer day, but Erwin seemed unbothered — not even rolling his sleeves up. 

“The Commander and I spoke,” Erwin said. “And the paperwork has finally gone through. Effective immediately, you’ll be assigned to my squad. I hope that’s amenable.” 

Levi nodded. Sometimes, in between the nightmares, Levi found himself thinking about the way Erwin had been: on his knees, the thin line of blood running down to the collar of his shirt. The greenery around them shaking in the rain and filling the edges of his vision. 

Erwin was looking at him like he wasn’t ready to dismiss him yet, and Levi sure as hell didn’t want to talk about Farlan or Isabel. 

“Flagon,” he said, instead. “How long was he in the Survey Corps?” 

Erwin looked down. “I had known him since we were both cadets. We trained together, drank together.” 

“Oh.” 

“I know things weren’t always cordial,” Erwin continued, “but he was a good man. I know he did everything in his power to try and help your friends.” 

Levi grit his teeth, standing. Erwin stood, too, his brow creasing. A sheet of paper fluttered to the ground from his desk. “Levi –” 

“Fuck—don’t —” he hissed, and he was tearing up. He was back on that fucking field, covered in blood and rain and dirt, surrounded by their mangled corpses. He was alive and they were dead— 

Then Erwin was standing in front of him, his expression open. Levi could see the scar of the wound on his neck. The soldiers outside had dispersed. All that was left was the buzzing of the cicadas, or maybe it was just Levi’s heartbeat. 

“Levi,” Erwin said again, into the silence, as if he was holding his name carefully. This time, Levi let him. 

Erwin reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for choosing to stay.” 

Levi shivered, fell forward. Erwin’s strong arms wrapped around him, and he allowed himself to grieve. 

 

\--- 

 

They didn’t talk about it. In fact, Levi didn’t see much of Erwin over the next couple of weeks. Once, they ran into each other in the hallway of the barracks, but Erwin only asked how his training was going before taking his leave. 

There was no way he was the first soldier Erwin had comforted, but Levi still felt stupidly self-conscious. He wasn’t sure how long they’d stood there, him sobbing quietly into his chest. Erwin’s shirt had probably been ruined. 

He was relieved they were making preparations for another expedition to test out the long-range scouting formation. The work kept him busy. He didn't socialize much, but no one was actively avoiding him, either. He had grown fond of his horse, and spent many days riding in the small thicket of woods near the barracks. 

In many ways it was like preparing for another job in the Underground. Everyone wanted to escape to somewhere better. 

Levi emerged from the woods, gas depleted, when he spotted two figures in the clearing. At first he thought it was new recruits messing around, but as he approached he realized it was Erwin and Mike sparring. 

He felt a spark of curiosity. He’d never seen Erwin fight anyone else. Both men had stripped off their jackets, exposing the straps of their uniform. Mike advanced, fists up. He was a good two or three inches taller, and stockier too, but Erwin was holding his own. They were moving with a familiarity that suggested they’d been doing this for years, and Levi felt his chest tighten. 

_There’s still so much I don’t know about him._

Erwin gaze shifted to him and Levi stiffened. For a moment they stared at each other, then Erwin broke eye contact and said something to Mike. Mike saluted him and went to grab his jacket, though not before turning and giving Levi a curt nod. 

Levi watched Mike’s retreating back as he rode forward. “Looks like he’s warming up to me,” he said, dismounting. He had a feeling it was only because Erwin had talked with him. Erwin seemed to advocate on his behalf more often than not. There was a care behind it that felt foreign to Levi, but not in an unpleasant way. 

“Yes, I think so, too,” Erwin said. He reached up to pet the mane of Levi’s horse. “What did you think? About our sparring session?” 

Levi wasn’t sure what to say, how honest to be. Because Erwin wasn’t looking at him, he found it easier to stare at his profile. A couple strands of Erwin’s hair had been knocked loose; his cheeks were still slightly flushed. 

“You both move fast for your size,” Levi said. Better to keep it vague. “Faster than any of the scum I used to deal with.” 

“If there’s something I could do better,” Erwin said, and it sounded like he meant it. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot. It’s just that Mike and I know each other’s styles too well.” 

_So he knew I had been watching for a while._ Levi gathered the reins in one hand, began to walk toward the barracks. Erwin fell in step next to him. After a few seconds, Levi realized Erwin wouldn’t be upset if he didn’t answer. 

Levi’s foot kicked something solid. “The fuck—?” 

Erwin bent down and picked up the object. It was a faded wooden cross, partly rotted; someone had etched 'B.M.' into the center. 

“What’s a grave marker doing out here?” Levi asked. 

“It must have been a long time ago." 

Levi felt the sun on his back. In the Underground, he was used to seeing others slowly wasting away on top of each other; tucked away in side alleys; sometimes even lying in the middle of the filthy streets. Out here — the clearing extending out, vast, grass stalks rippling in the wind — none of it could change anything, either: how people could be gone in an instant.

Erwin had turned and was walking back toward the woods. 

“Oi, where are you going?” 

“I know where we can put this,” Erwin said. “You can leave your horse here for now. You came out from the western quadrant of the woods, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Erwin didn’t go too far, stopping at the first line of trees, and Levi saw what he was talking about. There was a patch of earth near the base of one of the trunks where sunlight was pooled, bright. Erwin set the cross there. 

Levi saw a cluster of blue flowers, butterflies lazily circling above them. “Here,” he said, uprooting a handful and placing it next to the cross, hoping Erwin wouldn’t think he was too weird. Their hands brushed together. 

Levi straightened up first, maybe a little too fast.

“You favor your right side,” he said. “When you fight.” 

Erwin was very still next to him. Then he smiled. Levi realized Erwin could not be much older than him. He thought of the time he and Farlan and Isabel had freed that bird from the Underground. The way it had flown, free of pain.


End file.
